Thanks a lot, Whirlpool
You bastards.
My Whirlpool oven has a locking feature. All self-cleaning ovens I've ever had have had a lock - you swivel the handle over, lock the door, and it turns on the kiln. It's great. Why is there a lock? Well, yes, probably because people are stupid. But more accurately, it's for children. Children can usually reach the locking handle, but the locking handle is itself locked until you press the "latch release" button.
Genius. Fantastic. There's a child-proof mechanism built right in to the product.
Now let's look at my oven.
"With this computerized panel, we won't have to put any controls within the kid's reach, so we'll be able to control the entire mechanizm from there. That way parents won't have to remember to hit that latch release to deactivate the lock."
"Great, Jenkins. Ship it!"
...And on the 8th day, there was absolutely no way to lock the oven when it wasn't in self-clean mode.
Aren't computers great? They take care of the little things for us.
So, we've bought 3 separate oven-proofing latches and installed them all. For the first two, the kid pulled on the door, it resisted a little, and then shot open with much more force than normal. It was more dangerous. The third one showed more promise... it had a mechanism that was made of metal. Daddy couldn't even open it. Enter Alex. Tug, tug, tug, and he just ripped the adhesive right off. He's a strong kid, but he's no Hulk.
Why do I have to go through all this? Why didn't they just allow me to hit a button to activate the feature that's already f--ing there?!
The clincher? The thing that makes my chest tighten just sitting here thinking about it? There's a little icon on the Start button - a little padlock with the label "2 seconds". I was so happy! I pushed it, held it for two seconds... and... it locked the keypad on the computer panel. Wonderful. You have to be over 5 feet in order to reach the thing in the first place.
I'm sure someone from Whirlpool would be able to explain to me why this decision was made. Much better to invent an explanation after people start asking for it than risk litigation when someone's kid gets burned. Get me? There is a REAL RISK that my kid could get burned here, becuase I can't use a feature that's already there, and because no other oven latch works.
Yeah, this means I have to do it the old fashioned way, with good parenting and constant supervision--that's fine. I'm delighted. But you people stop telling me you've got my problems solved. I don't believe you any more. I'm going to do a lot of things the old fashioned way because you jackasses aren't smart enough to toast bread.
Like I said, that's fine. But pretty soon you're going to stop getting my money on the promise alone.
...and it's only 7:20 am...
My Whirlpool oven has a locking feature. All self-cleaning ovens I've ever had have had a lock - you swivel the handle over, lock the door, and it turns on the kiln. It's great. Why is there a lock? Well, yes, probably because people are stupid. But more accurately, it's for children. Children can usually reach the locking handle, but the locking handle is itself locked until you press the "latch release" button.
Genius. Fantastic. There's a child-proof mechanism built right in to the product.
Now let's look at my oven.
"With this computerized panel, we won't have to put any controls within the kid's reach, so we'll be able to control the entire mechanizm from there. That way parents won't have to remember to hit that latch release to deactivate the lock."
"Great, Jenkins. Ship it!"
...And on the 8th day, there was absolutely no way to lock the oven when it wasn't in self-clean mode.
Aren't computers great? They take care of the little things for us.
So, we've bought 3 separate oven-proofing latches and installed them all. For the first two, the kid pulled on the door, it resisted a little, and then shot open with much more force than normal. It was more dangerous. The third one showed more promise... it had a mechanism that was made of metal. Daddy couldn't even open it. Enter Alex. Tug, tug, tug, and he just ripped the adhesive right off. He's a strong kid, but he's no Hulk.
Why do I have to go through all this? Why didn't they just allow me to hit a button to activate the feature that's already f--ing there?!
The clincher? The thing that makes my chest tighten just sitting here thinking about it? There's a little icon on the Start button - a little padlock with the label "2 seconds". I was so happy! I pushed it, held it for two seconds... and... it locked the keypad on the computer panel. Wonderful. You have to be over 5 feet in order to reach the thing in the first place.
I'm sure someone from Whirlpool would be able to explain to me why this decision was made. Much better to invent an explanation after people start asking for it than risk litigation when someone's kid gets burned. Get me? There is a REAL RISK that my kid could get burned here, becuase I can't use a feature that's already there, and because no other oven latch works.
Yeah, this means I have to do it the old fashioned way, with good parenting and constant supervision--that's fine. I'm delighted. But you people stop telling me you've got my problems solved. I don't believe you any more. I'm going to do a lot of things the old fashioned way because you jackasses aren't smart enough to toast bread.
Like I said, that's fine. But pretty soon you're going to stop getting my money on the promise alone.
...and it's only 7:20 am...
posted by Marcus at 4:41 AM
1 Comments:
This is classic. Especially the part where it allows you to lock your keypad. Because you're going to be putting your oven in your pocket and don't want your car keys to speed dial your broil setting?
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